My relationship with Japan

I have a love hate relationship with Japan.

This is a beautiful country. I love the nature, the climate, and the fact that everything always look so pretty. I am drawn to aesthetics and the japanese are insanely talented in creating all kinds of beauty. This is apparent in the packaging for all their products, the way they display everything in the supermarket, and even the uniforms the garbage collectors wear! I go to the supermarket almost everyday and I enjoy it. When I take Aiden out for our regular walks around the neighbourhood, I find myself taking in everything I see around me, from the trees along the streets, the many kinds of flowers during spring, to the old and tiny looking japanesey houses in the area. Such beauty lift up my spirits.

On the other hand, after living in this country for 17 months, I still cannot comprehend the japanese culture. The people here live by a code of conduct. It's like they have alot of unwritten rules of how one should behave and the whole nation abide by it. They are very polite people and you will always find strangers saying "good day" to you. But I don't think they are sincere because they don't exude much warmth and sometimes not even an eye contact. It is like they say it for the sake of saying. Just because it is the right thing to do. In my opinion, the people are polite but cold. I have also witnessed on a crowded bus, nobody would take an available seat simply because there was a sign that says needy people should be given priority to that seat. There was no pregant woman or elderly people in sight but still, nobody would dare to take the seat despite the fact that the bus was so crowded. And on the other hand, I have also seen a woman struggling to carry her 7 or 8 year old daughter on a crowded bus and nobody offered her a seat. That was because she was standing in the area where there were no signs that said the seats should be given up. WTF right?

The other thing that really, really bug me is how inflexible the people are. Don't expect a japanese to bend the rules for you because it will never happen. For instance, I had to rush off in the middle of my lunch at a restaurant sometime back and since I had barely finished half of my plate of pasta, my husband requested that the restaurant bagged that up for me. But they refused to as the restaurant does not have this practice. No matter how we argued, they just would not bend. Then there was another time when I had lunch at a restaurant and used up my small notes to settle the bill. When I collected my car that was at the carpark right next door to the restaurant, I realised that the payment machine did not accept big notes. So I went back to the restaurant and asked if I could change my big note with them, they flatly declined. Simply because they had a no money exhange policy. Never mind the fact that I was a customer and had paid for my lunch with small notes 5 minutes ago. I argued with the manager but guess what? You can never expect a japanese to bend their rules. So I lost.

Seriously, I can go on and on about how weird the culture here is and how it drives me crazy. But at the end of the day, when you are living here, you learn to accept things the way they are. This is a country with many years of history. The people are not going to change the way they do things just because of foreigners like us. Now, I laugh it off whenever I am at the brink of being really pissed off. Looking at the pretty packaging of everything here helps since I am such a sucker for aesthetics. And I try to avoid having anything to do with japanese organizations or the local authority!